TSGK Clan Forum

Phat Bacon · Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 00:43 Post subject: TSGK news

greeting, our first story...ghost dog has unleashed the NINJA-HOBO and eaten 147 marshmallows in one sitting. he said "man i love 2 things in life, TSGK and marshmallows"

in other news shimmy tsgk has destroyed 13 possible marriages by sticking the groom at the worst possible times.

now for the weather and traffic report...
the weather looks good so far today since all the boxes are indoors the gamers should be quite comfortable while their marriage is destroyed by shimmy.

traffic to day is a madhouse, server XI is packed to the max and has been so for the past 36 hours.

back to the news...

diet h2o has been caught today smuggling drugs into server X. his punishment will be marriage destruction by shimmy.

our final story of the night is tomato_tsgk, while walking to the nearby bar, tripped and fell therefor crushing a helpless hobo beneath his astounding weight. our fellow member ghost dog, enraged, took to the scene and attempted to bash tomato with the stick. quick on his feet tomato spun and blew dog to bits. now tomato has killed 2 hobos and is still on the loose his whereabouts still unknown. the killing of a hobo is the worst possible crime to commit let alone 2 hobos. if you see him call 1-800-HOBO-JUSTICE.

thank you and goodnight

Diet H2O_TSGK · Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 00:47 Post subject:

Shimmy_TSGK · Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 01:00 Post subject:

roflcoptertelepertorspaceshipferraricrasher! Laughing

Killa/PPV · Joined: 30 Sep 2006 Posts: 579 Country: Browser: Age: 35

Awsome

Man, make more news like this one plz Wink

Plasmo_TSGK · Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 01:05 Post subject:

*Pops head out of vacant hobo crate*

Lies! Lies I tell you! I don't know what this newscaster has been smoking, but it must be good!

*Goes back cleaning HoboBasher9000*

MMMM...These are tasty marshmallows...

Phat Bacon · Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 01:19 Post subject:

*dialing* 1-800-HOBO-JUSTICE

answerer: "hello this is the tomato residence"
bacon: "jesus christ he's taken over the hobo headquarters, this is bad......very bad"
tomato: "MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA"
bacon: "tomato turn yourself in, do u know what crime you have commited?!"
tomato: "one second *BASH HOBO TO BITS* ok what were you saying?"
bacon: ........................................................................&%#$!!!!!!
tomato: "i see you bacon...behind the crate..........OF DEATH!!!!!'
bacon: "where is he??? i can't see him...oh god i'm doomed"
tomato: "PEEKABOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

good evening and welcome to tsgk news.

this just in, tsgk member Phat Bacon was found lying in the streets of HOBO-NINJA town his head apparently missing in action. we now go to the scene live with news reporter meekmeekle_HOBO.

meek, what's going on there?
meek: well we have the body in clear view, let me just take a look- OH MY GOD THAT'S JUST HORRIFIC!!!! OH JESUS CHRIST HE HAS NO HEAD!!! anyway the scene has been checked and we have evidence that the killer was one tomato_tsgk formerly know as plas_tsgk. he has been seen lurking in the shadows carrying some sort of bag, this bag undoubtedly carries the head of his most recent victim Phat Bacon. this is ver sad and we are so sorry to the family of Bac-........................................................................................................

anchor: meek? are you there? we seem to be having some technical difficulties, we will be back as soon as the picture returns.

Zog Ecosse · Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 02:39 Post subject: news

Ghost Dog_TSGK · Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 03:09 Post subject:

I just woke up from my nap and heard the news. Shocked

TOMATO HOW COULD YOU! Mad

Oh wait I'm dead I forgot. Wink

Shimmy_TSGK · Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 03:17 Post subject:

Shimmy hears what Zog just said. He runs as fast as he could but slips over a dancing banana. NO NO HELP! HELP! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

*To be continued*

Phat Bacon · Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 03:59 Post subject:

shimmy, running to destroy zog's marriage, slipped on a dancing banana. dizzy and confused shimmy sits upon the ground. suddenly out of the shadows comes.........comes.........comes.............TOMATO!!!!!!!
SQUISH BASH RIP TEAR FEAST SHRED MUNCH LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH.

tomato goes back to the former HOBO headquarters and places shimmy's head next to.......meekle's. tomato now has another victim in his mind.....CPT.PikPik_HOBO HOBO police captain and MEGA-UBER-HOBO-NINJA.

PikPik walks out of his office after a long day's work. infront of him lies a banana, he doesn't see it and he slips, and out of the shadows comes tomato

*bum bum bum bum!!!! to be continued!!!*

krazimu · Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 05:29 Post subject:

...kraz watches from the shadows and shakes his head in disbelief. After all tomato was such a nice guy. Quiet and kept to himself but not the kinda guy you would pick off as a murderer... Neutral

DogSoldier · Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 06:20 Post subject:

Bacon and Ghost Dog try watching the news on their new widescreen TV... unfortunately, they didn't pay their cable bill... again.

Plasmo_TSGK · Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 06:34 Post subject:

OO, OO, OO! Alternate caption time!!!!!!!

Bacon and Ghost upon realizing the futility of unscrambling pR0n using rabbit ears...

Ghost Dog_TSGK · Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 08:13 Post subject:

After Ghosts many futile pr0n unscrambling attemps he picks up a rouge transmission from none other than.......THE SPORK OF HOBOSBANE!!!!!
The spork enlightens him to the fact that it's not Plasmo commiting the hobo genocide but his wily doppleganger twin,Cucumber bourbon!!!!
He learns the twin does not posess the power of the spork however he has cast a spell upon Plasmo freezing his movement and disorienting his thoughts.He is trapped inside of a mighty crate,thought to be inpenetrable from mortal man.
But not a crate hobo.
Only the crate hobo can enter such a fortress,but not alone.............

The Borg_TSGK · Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 09:12 Post subject:

News Flash......

Tomato has been seen talking with another person, maybe he has a new accomplice. Another Hobo basher loose on our streets.
One eye witness said of the accomplice, we used to see him around here alot but he's been absent for nearly a week, his name is some thing like ....borg Twisted Evil

2nd news item. Posted on a forum set up to find Tomato. An anon. person has posted a warning that Sandwich_hobo will be the next victim and followed by knife_hobo. A statement by Capt Pikpik_hobo said we are currently trying to trace this message, the admin of the site is being very helpfull and we will soon know the identity and hope to make an arrest soon.

Hopefully our reporter will catch up with sandwich and knife for an in depth interview on the threat of their lives.......

gtamike_TSGK · Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 11:11 Post subject:

hahaha

Shimmy_TSGK · Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 17:06 Post subject:

The Earth starts to shake. The whole building starts to rumble. Out of no where, the walls explode. After the dust settles this shiny armour humanoid looking being comes walking in. The second we see the 190 cm Behemoth he starts to speak in a robotic voice. "I AM THE GREAT R.U.B.L.I.S. 1337 robot, I just came back from school and I am here to exterimate all you urlas!
http://www.answers.com/topic/urla-slang<-definition of urla

Everyone starts running for their lives as the RUBLIS 1337 robot starts shooting deadly hotdogs at everyone.

Ghost Dog_TSGK · Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 22:23 Post subject:

Rumors out of the west suggest if you find the three ancient powers of hobosbane (the spork,the butterknive and the bowl) and place them into the ancient hobo ruins at the right time,you can ressurect the mighty OSIRIS_HOBO.

We must endure this pilgramage for Osiris_hobo posesses great skill and power.

sargE · Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 22:38 Post subject:

YOU GUYZ ARE CRAZY! Shocked

in a good way

Plasmo_TSGK · Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 22:49 Post subject:

Praise be to the Spork! 'Tis true that I killed Ghost, that I did in self defense, but I had no recollection of the other murders. I thought maybe I was sleep walking or was having a mind altering experience or something.

Ah yes! I remember Cucumber bourbon quite well. We were roommates in college. Nigh inseparable were we, like brothers...conjoined twins even. We learned the ways of alcohol-fueled destruction together. His drink of choice being Old Crow Kentucky bourbon and mine Old Thompson blended whiskey (our parents must have been psychic or something). Both of us mixed our drinks with diet coke or diet pepsi, depending on which was cheapest at the time, but I digress.

Well, one night we were hosting a party for some event or something, the details are fuzzy. Something happened, I'm not quite sure what...nobody does, but when I woke up the next afternoon I was surrounded by the brutally beaten corpses of the guests. As I said, nobody knows what happened, only bourbon and myself were still alive. From that moment on I vowed to never use my alcohol-fueled destruction powers again, but bourbon only nodded curtly as I uttered my oath.

After that, things were kind of back to normal, although to this day I am puzzled at why we were never prosecuted or why the event was never investigated. As I said, things were back to normal, but one night Bourbon came back to the house reeking of gin to find that I had finished the last of the diet coke (it was a joyous occasion for me and I got smashed before I could go to the store). He was furious and stormed out of the house muttering unintelligibly. That was the last I saw of Bourbon. I thought he was dead, nobody had heard from or seen him for a number of years. But now he appears to be back, and mighty pissed off...

Phat Bacon · Posted: Tue May 22, 2007 01:55 Post subject:

my sources indicate that tomato and cucumber had frequent tickle fights in their dorm room every tuesday evening 9-10pm Shocked

.

my god have mercy on his soul

Ghost Dog_TSGK · Posted: Tue May 22, 2007 08:39 Post subject:

Cucumber bourbon aka "potato pocket jones" aka "Cucumberton Kentucky esquire" has been spotted in Las Vegas by Pik Pik_HOBO,he was spotted working a seedy roadside blackjack table in the outskirts of town.

It was confirmed he has the Butterknife of hobosbane.
Dire news indeed,if he were to aquire the fork,butterknife and bowl of hobosbane he would not use it with good deeds in mind,instead of resurrecting Osiris_HOBO to complete the uber crime fighting team (with shiny capes & cowls) he would load the flatware into the cursed "Dishwasher of desire" in order to fulfill his master plan................to craft the ultimate ancient hobo weapon,
The rebuilt bycicle of DOOM!!!!!!!!

However the bike is quite unstable and will not be easily utilized untill the rear luggage rack is stacked full of discarded produce,soiled clothing and cardboard signs with utterings of a madman inscribed with black permanent marker.

He cannot obtain these items without the help of his ex-roomate and arch nemesis "Tomato whiskey_HOBO"

It is our job to protect Tomato from Cucumbers intense mind control ability (he learned mind control at the enchanted federal magical aid building "EFMA") for he alone could not bare to withstand such powerful generic government magic.

It is too late for us to find the bowl and spork of hobosbane but we do have one advantage.

In the ancient land of Hobosbane there lives a man by the name of "Bartholomew the Bum" he posesses peculiar talent to counteract government provided mind control (he learned how to as payback from a Tai chi group that stepped on him at the park while he was asleep) but he asks a heavy price...............................he requires a liter of malt liquor and an enchanted can of chewing tobacco (mint).

Who will come forward to obtain these two items required by the hobos?!?!?!?!

Beer isn't sold in liters in Michigan and the last place I heard of enchanted mint chewing tobacco was an outpost in Antarctica and it had to be harvested from a large glacier that has killed many men with its treacherous climbing conditions.There's a very good chance we can find the tobacco on a corpse of an unfortunate climber that didn't make it back,this is the easiest way I think.

Xmeagol · Posted: Tue May 22, 2007 11:21 Post subject:

BREAKING NEWS: Breen comes and rapes the first hobo he sees
then eats some brown cookies, similar to shit
Horray!

Freelancer · Posted: Tue May 22, 2007 11:32 Post subject:

!

Genious!

!

The Borg_TSGK · Posted: Tue May 22, 2007 14:11 Post subject:

There's a rumour that the above attack was carried out by the borg, Tomato's acomplice.
Remember kids, lock your crate at night or the Hobo killer my get you

Shimmy_TSGK · Posted: Tue May 22, 2007 14:41 Post subject:

Some where deep within the Delta quadrant the Borg cube 1234 alpha delta lamda 2 is receiving a transmission from the Borg collective. The Message was heavly encrypted but using Cardassian technology stolen in 2367. It was using a shape shifter disguised as a Bajoran prisoner. The data was taken to deep space nine. The Great Commander Sisko was given the plans and sent the data back usign a prob thru the warmhole. The warmhole was slightly alterted using theta waves so that it sends the probe back nearly 370 years. Sadly speaking, the prob never made it to earth in time of the hobo killing massacres. All this work was lost and non of the actions were preventable for in an alternative universe, that hobo would've been Americas first hobo president.

Zog Ecosse · Posted: Tue May 22, 2007 18:10 Post subject: News

In the meantime, super sleuth Zog has been working hard to unmask the real identity of the arch fiend hobo killer. Whilst browsing threads elsewere in the forum a startling piece of crucial evidence came to light Shocked

Ghostdog82 said -
"you know when you move a crate it can kill someone" Shocked

Has he checked the crate to see if it contains a hobo before he launches at some poor unsuspecting victim.

Either way he gets one Exclamation

or even two kills. Exclamation

Could it be that Ghostdog82 is in league with some dark and sinister force who has yet to reveal his/her hand in this sordid affair.

Is Ghostdog82 a double agent

At this stage there are more questions than answers.
I stubbed out my last cigarette and to a long swig of whiskey.
I tried to sleep but the images of dead hobos haunted my dreams.
Tomorrow was going to be a hard day

This is private dick Zog, signing out

The Borg_TSGK · Posted: Tue May 22, 2007 18:30 Post subject:

News Desk.

Our reporter has now caught up with Knife_hobo and asked him the question"How does it feel to be on the hobo killers hit list".

Knife - Naturally i'm a bit worried, but i think i'm prepared"

Reporter - What are you planning to do (looks straight to the camera and winks )

Knife - Bit daft if i told you, but let me tell you i have been practising a few moves on server X

Reporter - Thanks knife and back to the studio. This is gtamike123 reporting

News desk. We did manage to catch up with Knife's mummy and she told us, in the strictes confidence that he's sleeping with a stun stick under his duvet. Wink

We are still looking for sandwich_hobo for an interview, but we haven't found which crate he's hiding in.

One other bit of news is that the server admin was asked for an interview regarding hobo's camping in his servers. Not wanting to go on camera, we where given a statement saying that as long as they clean the crates after use and don't interfer with serious players, we don't forsee any problem, but this matter remains under constant review. Shocked

Hobo Hunter Number 2 · Joined: 22 May 2007 Posts: 1 Country:

*Sharpens Crowbar and Looks at Hitlist*

"Hmm, who's next?"

List

Phat Bacon-Check
Shimmy-Check
Kinfe-Next Target

"Knife, MUHAHAHAHA"[/code]

Ghost Dog_TSGK · Posted: Tue May 22, 2007 22:23 Post subject:

Me a double agent???????????????????

nnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyyyyoooooooh my god.