TSGK Clan Forum

A professor at MEMORIAL UNIVERSITY OF NEWFOUNDLAND, was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscular Contractions' to his first year medical students.
Realizing this was not the most riveting subject,...

happy bitrhday capt .

Just when you have lost faith in human kindness, someone who
teaches
at Kean Elementary in Wooster, Ohio forwarded the following
letter.
The letter was sent to the Principal's office after the
s...

[quote]I am getting on in years and I will be playing as long as I am able or until steam pulls the plug. As far as I am concerened, the game is only dead under these circumstances.

I Second That ...

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital,
wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose still
heavily sedated from a difficult four hour, surgical
procedure A young student nurse appears to ...

A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for Christmas dinner.
This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.
They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
Th...

Still I only come Second Evil or Very Mad

Bob liked to frequent the Newfoundland beaches, but was never able to attract the girls. He decided to ask his friend George the lifeguard for advice.

'It's deem big baggy swimming trunks, my son. ...

An Irishman moves to the USA and finally attends his first baseball game.
The first batter approached the batters' box, took a few swings and then
hits a double. Everyone was on their feet screaming...

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy 's
and shyly walked up to
the woman behind the counter and said,
'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. '
' What type of bra?'
asked the clerk.

...

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used
to define bra sizes?
If you have wondered why,
but couldn't figure out
what the letters stood for,
it is about time ...

Dear Employees,

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retir...

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to the currency exchange window at the local bank.
Short line.
Just one lady in front of me... an Asian lady who was trying to excha...

A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check
He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."
The soci...

Grandpa had a ritual he looked forward to
every Sunday morning. He would take his 7-year old
granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some bonding
time - Just he and his little granddaugh...

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink by any woman.
Many females use a date-rape-drug on the market called ' Beer' . ...

My wife and I went to the state fair and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. ;We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,
THiS BULL MATED 50 TIME...

My wife and I went to the state fair and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. ;We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,
THiS BULL MATED 50 TIME...

An Ontarian wanted to become a Newfie. He went to the neurosurgeon and
asked,'Is there anything you can do to me that would make me into a Newfie?'
'Sure it's easy.' replied the neurosurgeon. 'All I...

A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm.
His friend Doug stops him andasks, 'Hey Bob! Whacha get the case of
beer for?'
'I got it for my wife, eh.' answers Bob. 'Oh...

CANADIAN JOKES

After the North American Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents
decided to go out for a beer.
The guy from Corona sits down and says, 'Hey Senor, I would like the
world's best...

Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in the park in Toronto when one is
attacked by a rabid Pit Bull.
Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick, wedges it down the dog's
collar and twists, b...

ARIES (Mar 21- Apr 19)
Drinking style: Impulsive Aries people like to party and sometimes don't know when to call it a night. Their competitive streak makes them prone to closing-time shot contests....

It would be good to have our life to live backwards.

You start out dead and get it out of the way.

Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.

You get kicked out for being t...

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver
a question and tapped him on the shoulder.
The driver screamed, lost control of the cab,
nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped...

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury...

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always moaned right befor...

'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm Scared. I think I'm going crazy.'

'Just put yourself in my hands for one year.' said The shrink. 'Come talk to me...

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on t...

80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, 'Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!' An eld...