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Zog Ecosse


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 12:08    Post subject:  

A man buys a parrot, but after several weeks of trying, is unable to get it
to speak a single word. In desperation he takes the bird to a vet for
advice.

The vet tells him that the parrot's beak is too long which is preventing
him from speaking. He says that he can file it down for $100.

The parrot's owner thought that was rather expensive and wondered aloud if he could just file it down himself.

The vet tells him that it is a very delicate procedure and must be done by
a trained professional. If he does not file enough, the bird still wont be
able to talk, but if he files too much, the bird will drown while drinking
his water.

The man decides to think it over and leaves with the parrot.

Several weeks later, the vet happens to meet the parrot owner who is
looking rather down. He inquires about the parrot and the man replies that his parrot is dead.

"Did you try to file his beak down yourself?" asked the vet. The man nods
his head.

"And he drowned while trying to drink his water, right?"

"No," replied the parrot's owner, "he was dead when I took his head out of the vice."

----------------------------------------------- Laughing


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 28, 2010 03:33    Post subject: mole  

A papa mole, a mama mole, and a baby mole,
all live together in a little mole hole.
One day, papa mole sticks his head
out of the hole, sniffs the air and said,
' Yum! I smell maple syrup!'
The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole,
sniffs the air and said, 'Oh, Yum! I smell honey!'
Now baby mole is trying to stick his head
out of the hole to sniff the air, but can't
because the bigger moles are in the way.
This makes him whine, 'Geez, all I can smell is....

MOLASSES !
Bow :O_O

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Zog Ecosse


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 03, 2010 15:17    Post subject:  

Why can't I own a Canadian?


Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9.. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging....

Your devoted fan,
Jim

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 04, 2010 10:33    Post subject:  

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.

The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he
walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four
men give her a subtle, "Well....?"

She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breast, 24" waist
and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God."

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 08, 2010 17:00    Post subject:  

The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough Frequent Flier miles.

They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things. Mike asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc.

Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex.

'Just how do you guys do it?' asks Maureen.

The Martian responds, 'Pretty much the way you do.'

A discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another.. Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He's got only a teeny, weenie member ! about half an inch long and just a quarter-inch thick.

'I don't think this is going to work,' says Maureen.

'Why?' he asks.. 'What's the matter?'

'Well,' she replies, 'it's just not long enough to reach me!'

'No problem,' he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until it's quite impressively long.

'Well,' she says, 'that's quite impressive, but it is still narrow.'

'No problem,' he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremely exciting to the woman.

'Wow!' she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad passionate love.

The next day the couples rejoin their other partners and go their separate ways. As they walked along, Mike asks, 'Well, was it any good?'

'I hate to say it,' says Maureen, 'but it was wonderful. How about you?'

'It was horrible,' he replies. 'All I got! was a headache . She kept slapping my forehead and pulling my ears.'


...........................................................................................................

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 21:22    Post subject:  

Camilla bought a new pair of shoes for her wedding which got increasingly
tighter & tighter as the day went on. That night, after the festivities were
finally over, she & Charles had retired to their room at the palace.

Camilla flopped on the bed and said 'Please remove my shoes darling, one's
feet are killing one.' Ever obedient, the Prince of Wales attacked her
right shoe with vigour but it would not budge.

'Harder' yelled Camilla.

'Harder?' Charles yelled back, 'I'm trying darling! But it's just so bloody
tight!'

'Come on give it all you've got ' she cried.

Finally when it released, Charles let out a big groan, and Camilla exclaimed
'Oh God, that feels so good.'

In their bedroom next door The Queen turned to Prince Phillip and said:
'See, I told you she would still be a virgin with a face like that!'

Meanwhile back in the other bedroom Charles was attempting to remove the
other shoe when he cried out 'Oh God, darling this one's even tighter.'

At which point Prince Phillip turned and said to the Queen: 'That's my boy.
Once a Navy man, always a Navy man!'

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 21:24    Post subject:  

Sry for this one

So, here's the story.. . .
Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.
A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.'
Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was £5,000.
The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.
Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single pound note that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the pound as down payment for the dirty deed.
A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Tesco store. There, he surprised her in the produce department & proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands & as the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the floor........
The manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.
However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras & observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught & arrested before he could even leave the store.
Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.
The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared ...
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
You're going to hate me for this...
>
>
>
>
>
>
'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for £1.00 AT TESCO '

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 15, 2010 19:25    Post subject:  

A precious little
girl walks into a petsmart shop and asks,

in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth, "Excuthe me,

mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"


As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that

he's on her level and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy, bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute Widdle bwown wabbit over there?"


She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice,


"I don't think my python weally
gives a thit."

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 11:23    Post subject:  

A fairy tale ~

Far, far away lived a beautiful Queen with voluptuous breasts. Although he was entranced, Nick the Dragon Slayer knew the penalty for his desire would be death should he try and touch them.

One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, who was the King's chief doctor. Horatio the Physician exclaimed that he could arrange for Nick the Dragon Slayer to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1,000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause, Nick the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to the scheme.

The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being to the Royal Chambers to address this problem, Horatio the Physician informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick the Dragon Slayer would work as the antidote to cure the itch.

The King quickly summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer. Horatio the Physician then slipped Nick the Dragon Slayer the real antidote for the itching powder, which he quickly put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately on the Queen's voluptuous and magnificent breasts. The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick the Dragon Slayer left, satisfied and touted as a hero.

Upon returning to his chambers, Nick the Dragon Slayer found Horatio the Physician demanding his payment of 1,000 goild coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Nick the Dragon Slayer couldn't have cared less and, knowing that Horatio the Physician could never report this matter to the King, with a laugh just told Horatio the Physician to get lost.

The next day, Horatio the Physician slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's underpants. The King immediately summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer....

The moral of the story......PAY YOUR BILLS!!!!!!

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2010 15:17    Post subject:  

The Day the Penis asked for a Raise



I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,

P. Niss

The Response

Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift..
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the
Correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65..
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task..
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,

V. Gina

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 15:49    Post subject:  

A bit of culture?
Culture.JPG
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 16:09    Post subject:  

What did the banana say to the vibrater?
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What are you shaking for, she's gonna eat me Shocked
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Zog Ecosse


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 30, 2010 11:27    Post subject:  

The Liverpool manager, Rafael Benitez, flies to Bagdad to watch a young Iraqi play football, is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to Anfield.

Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down to Manchester United with only 20 minutes left to play. The manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod and on he goes.

The lad is a sensation, scores 5 goals in 20 minutes and wins the game for Liverpool.
The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star.

When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in English football.

“Hello mum, guess what?” he says “I played for 20 minutes today, and we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won! Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me!”

“Wonderful,” says his mum, “Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street and robbed; your sister and I were ambushed, gang raped and beaten; your brother has joined a gang of looters and all while you were having such a great time playing football!”

The young lad is very upset. “What can I say mum, but I am so sorry.”



“Sorry?!!! Sorry?!!!' shrieks his mum, "It's your bloody fault we moved to Liverpool in the first Place.”

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 30, 2010 11:36    Post subject:  

I was really was pissed off when I lost out on winning the pub quiz by one point.



The question was, "Where do women mostly have curly hair?"

Apparently it's Africa .

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 30, 2010 14:43    Post subject:  

What the hell!
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 17:19    Post subject:  

A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the
window, stating the following:

"HELP WANTED. Must be able to type. Must be good with a computer, Must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."

A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and
went inside.

He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the
sign, looked at it and whined.

Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager.

The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least.
However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office.

Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.

The manager said "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to
type."

The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair.

The manager was stunned, but then told the dog "the sign says you have to be good with a computer."

The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to enter and execute a perfect program, that worked flawlessly the first time.

By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded!

He looked at the dog and said "I realize that you are a very intelligent
dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you
the job."

The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer.

The manager said "Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be
bilingual."


The dog looked at the manager calmly and said, "Meow!"

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PostPosted: Sat May 01, 2010 13:36    Post subject:  

The Pope and Tiger Woods die on the same day and because of an administrative mix up the Pope went to hell and Tiger Woods went to heaven.

The Pope explains the situation to the administrative clerk in hell, and after checking the paperwork admits that there is an error.
"However", the clerk explains, "it would be 24 hours before it can be rectified".


Next day the Pope is called and Hell's staff bid him farewell.


On the way up, the Pope meets Tiger Woods coming down from heaven and they stop to have a chat.

"Sorry about the mix up", apologises the Pope

"No problem" replied Tiger Woods,

Pope: "I am really anxious to get to heaven"

Tiger: "Why is that?"

Pope: "All my life I have wanted to meet the Virgin Mary"

Tiger: "You're a day late."

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PostPosted: Sat May 01, 2010 13:38    Post subject:  

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards.

The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.

The man, who was a priest, said, 'I am a Father.'

The little boy replied, 'My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that.'

The priest looked up from his book and answered, ''I am the Father of many.'

The boy said, ''My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way!'

The priest, getting impatient, said. 'I am the Father of hundreds', and went back to reading his book.

The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, "Maybe you should wear a condom, and put your pants on backwards instead of your collar."
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 21, 2010 14:28    Post subject:  

A guy sat down at the bar and ordered a beer.

The bartender filled his mug and slid it down the bar.

While sliding down the bar, the mug hit a blond woman's boobs and splashed all over them...

The bartender went over, retrieved the mug and licked the beer off her boobs.



Each time the guy called for another beer this happened.

After his third beer, the guy decided to help the bartender out.

The next time the bartender hit her boobs, the man jumped up and started to lick them...

She decked him!



He was laying on the floor moaning, 'Jeez lady.... Why'd you let the bartender lick your boobs, but not me?'
'Duh,' said the blonde, 'He has a licker license !'

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 29, 2010 17:04    Post subject:  

Sam stood over his tee shot on the 450 yard 18th hole for what seemed an eternity.

He waggled, looked up, looked down, waggled again, but didn't start his
back swing.

Finally his exasperated partner asked, 'What in the world is taking so
long?'

'My wife is watching me from the clubhouse balcony,' Sam explained.

'I want to make a perfect shot.'

His companion said, 'You don't have a
chance in hell of hitting her from here.'

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 08, 2010 19:06    Post subject:  

An elderly spinster who was a dog lover agreed to look after and house her neighbor's dog whilst the neighbors went on their holidays.The only problem was that the spinster's own dog was a bitch that was in 'heat' and the neighbors dog was a male. Nevertheless she had a large house and she was able to keep the two dogs apart.As she lay in her bed drifting off to sleep the spinster was suddenly awakened by an awful howling and moaning sounds from downstairs. She rushed downstairs to find the dogs locked together, as dogs do when mating. The dogs were in obvious pain howling but unable to disengage.Try as she might she could not part them and she was perplexed as what to do next.Though it was late she reluctantly phoned the vet and after a few rings a rather grumpy voice of the vet answered the phone.The spinster explained the problem.The vet said. "I want you to take the phone to the dogs and place it down alongside them. I will then phone your number back and the noise of the telephone ringing should make the male dog lose his erection and be able to withdraw from the bitch""Oh" said the spinster. "Do you think that will work?"







"Well" the vet replied, "it just worked on me.”

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Zog Ecosse


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 18, 2010 11:11    Post subject:  

A man entered the bus with both of his pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde.
The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.

Finally, after many side glances from her, he said, "Its golf balls."

Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, deeply thinking about what he had said.

After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked,

"Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 12, 2010 11:29    Post subject:  

Paddy is passing by Mick's hay shed one day when through a gap in the door he sees Mick doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old red Massey Ferguson.

Buttocks clenched he performs a slow pirouette and gently slides off first the right welly, followed by the left.
He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move lets his braces fall down from his shoulders to dangle by his hips over his corduroy trousers.

Grabbing both sides of his checked shirt he rips it apart to reveal his tea stained vest underneath and with a final flourish he hurls his flat cap on to a pile of hay.

'What on earth are you doing Mick' says Paddy
'Jeez Paddy, ye frightened the livin bejasus out of me says an obviously embarrassed Mick, 'but me and the Missus been having some trouble lately in the bedroom department,
and the Therapist suggested I do something sexy ''to a tractor ."

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 17:11    Post subject:  

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas .
With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting:
"I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way?
What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being?
It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community,
because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes,
but women in general and all in the name of humour!"

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little fu*ker on your knee."

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 31, 2010 05:05    Post subject:  

Apologies to Mr. R Kipling

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment ,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without a glass of wine,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,













...Then You Are Probably

...The family dog!!
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 10:06    Post subject:  

Guido, the Italian lover

A virile,middleaged Italian gentlemen named Guido was relaxing at his
favourite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular young
blonde woman. Things progressed to the point where he invited her back
to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his
bedroom where he rattled her senseless.

After a pleasant interlude he asked with a smile, "So, you finish?"

She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, "No."

Surprised, Guido reached for her and the rattling resumed.

This time she thrashed about wildly and there were screams of passion...

The sex finally ends and, again, Guido smiles and asks, "You finish?"

Again, after a short pause, she returns his smile, cuddles closer to
him and softly says, "No."

Stunned, but damned if he was going to leave this woman unsatisfied,
Guido reaches for the woman yet again. Using the last of his strength,
he barely manages it, but they end together screaming, bucking,
clawing and ripping the bed sheets. Exhausted, Guido falls onto his
back, gasping.

Barely able to turn his head, he looks into her eyes, smiles proudly
and asked again, "You finish?"



(scroll down)















Barely able to speak, the beautiful blonde whispers in his ear,
"No, I Norwegian.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2011 02:20    Post subject:  

A man breaks into a house to look for money and guns.

Inside, he finds couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of the bed and ties him to a chair.

While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed

The convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck,

Then gets up & goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife

'Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes.

He's probably spent a lot of time in jail

And hasn't seen a woman in years.

I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex,

Don't resist, don't complain...do what ever he tells you.

Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you.

This guy is obviously very dangerous.

If he gets angry, he'll kill us both.

Be strong, honey. I love you!'


His wife responds: 'He wasn't kissing my neck.

He was whispering in my ear.

He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute,

And asked if we had any Vaseline.

I told him it was in the bathroom.

Be strong honey. I love you too.'

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2011 21:11    Post subject:  

haha that was good Zog Laughing
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Zog Ecosse


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 26, 2011 00:15    Post subject:  

This is the final flypast of RAF Harriers over No 10 Downing Street before they headed for the knackers yard.

You may have to tilt your head a bit or even screw your eyes up to read the message!
image002[1].jpg
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 28, 2011 10:01    Post subject:  

A little girl asks her mum, 'Mum, can I take the dog for a walk
around the block?'

Her mum replies 'No, because she is on heat.'

'What does that mean?' asked the child.

'Go and ask your father. I think he's in the garage.'

The little girl goes out to the garage and says, 'Dad, can I take Lulu
for a walk around the block? I asked Mum, but she said the dog was on
the heat, and to come ask you.'

He took a rag, soaked it in petrol, and scrubbed the dog's backside
with it to disguise the scent, and said 'Ok, you can go now, but keep
Lulu on the leash and only go one time around the block.'

The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on
the leash..

Surprised, Dad asked, 'Where's Lulu?'

You'll love this!!!!!!!!!)................

>

>

>

>

>The little girl said, 'She ran out of petrol about halfway round the
block, so another dog is pushing her home.'

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